John 15- Abide in Me

I have a confession. Scripture is clear that confessing our sins to one another is good. It's what we are supposed to do. So here I go:

I haven't spent time in the Word faithfully this month.

Man, I wish I could have said just today. Or just this week. But it's a month.

Sure, I've had spouts of time with Lord here and there this month. But it's been a crazy month, and I've ignored my heavenly Daddy. I've avoided my Creator. I've skipped out on my Savior. I've completely dismissed my perfect Lover.

The longer I stayed away from really spending time with the Lord in prayer and in fellowship and thru the word, the more I felt like He was going to smite me. You know, that feeling you get when you know you are guilty and I was ready for punishment and wrath. I was waiting for bad news to occur. I was waiting for my personal life to crumble. I was waiting for my ministry to collapse, because I was doing it all on my own strength and not with His.

I'm really humilitated in writing this. I hate saying that I've been doing ministry without the Only True Minister. But God exalts the humble, and brings down the proud. How I cling to that promise.

However, even when I was not being sustained by God, he still sustained me. Do you see the faithfulness? He could have easily stated, "Whitney, you have not looked my way or spent time with me in such a long time. It's time for you to get what you deserve." But he didn't. It's his kindness that leads us to repentance, right? How true it is.

The story is not a sad one. I wanted to confess because I did what I had to do. Have you ever known what to do, and people tell you what to do, but you refuse to do it? And then, when you do it, you kick yourself because you were so RETARDED not to do it in the first place? Sometimes, my internal Whitney is not my favorite person.

I finally sat in the Lord's presence, uninterupted and undistracted, yesterday afternoon. It's like a hot shower after a day spent in the cold. He did not disappoint. He did not hold back. He was relentless in consuming me, as if I had never left His side. What is this love? And why does my flesh flee from this love so often?

The Lord brought me to two passages. One of them was John 15---i am the vine, you are the branches. The part that totally brought me to my knees was "apart from me, you can do nothing." In one moment, one glorious encounter with the Living Word, I broke and recognized that i never want to be apart from that vine. I want to bear so much fruit...fruit that lasts. This is Delaney. I love this baby girl. I don't remember what fruit this is she has, but it's fruit! But to bear fruit, I have to ABIDE.

So I sat and contemplated the word "abide". I didn't have a cool greek dictionary thing or my laptop...or even my mom to talk to about it. I just prayed God would give me a word picture. You know...a picture that describes a word?

Here is what the Lord gave me:

I was sitting at a potter's wheel and I was molding something. I think I was trying to mold a pot, only it looked nothing like a pot. It looked completely indistinguishable and useless. I was getting frustrated. I started to cry. No matter how hard I tried to move my hands to make this pot, I was failing.

Then, I saw and felt these big hands come over mine, and I instantly recognized this hands as my Heavenly Daddy. He at first placed his hands over mine and I instantly surrendered my control over to him. Then, I saw my hands physically melt into his hands. We were one. I was abiding in Him. And it was then I looked at my pot, but I don't remember seeing it. It didn't matter. My hands were in my Daddy's hands, and I was amazed.When Jackie came in February, Shelley and her granddaughter DeLaney came with us hiking at a place called "swinging bridges". It had these swinging bridges that were kind of scary. DeLaney was definitely not so sure of herself going on this bridge, so Shelley grabbed her hands and guided her across.

Abiding. DeLaney was abiding in her Grammy. Their hands became one. Just like me at the potters wheel with my Daddy.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Keep praying for me that I will abide. The second thing the Lord showed me was that He was my Hiding Place. So rich.

My friend Lori prayed for me for rich times in the Word. It has been rich. I will take it one day at a time, walking with my Daddy. He is so good.

Maui=Love

There really isn't much i really need or want to say today. For the most part, God is teaching me how retarded and ridiculous i am without him. I've been reading through Judges (just finished) and by far, Gideon spoke the most to me. In fact, I just went to Starbucks with this incredible 7th grade girl named Kayla and we both agreed that Gideon was retarded without God working in him (http://rootedjuniorhai.blogspot.com to read about Kayla :)

I've learned a lot about love recently, too. Loving people comes easy to me...when it's easy. You know what I mean? I love to love. I'm really good at loving. But when I don't want to love, I really suck at it. When I don't rely on the Lord to work in me, I can't love. I PHYSICALLY can't love. I just want to sleep...but He calls me to love with HIS love. Not mine. So, again, I'm retarded without Him working in me.

I've been on some wicked cool adventures recently. I rode on a yacht. I saw whales 20 feet away...for forty minutes they played by the yacht. I went on a bike ride to Oprah's house. That was sick. I've been running on the beach at sunset. Each sunset is so different from the last. It's hard to explain it. You'd think you'd be sick of seeing the sunset, but each time i run, I'm in awe of the sky and the Creator of that sky. As my ipod bounces music and my feet slap the sand, I stare in amazement at the dipping sun, and i think to myself, "really, God, as if you didn't blow me away yesterday." It's an incredibly romantic relationship, God and I. I'm physically doing well. I got sick a little bit back, but it was just mucus caught in my chest. You know that phlemmy delicious snort-cough? I had that for about 2 weeks. It was super attractive. I'm back, though, and ready for action. Haven't surfed in a while, but will soon, i feel it. I'm just waiting for wickedly huge waves to rip on...yep, to rip on.

I miss my sisters like woah this month for some reason. I feel like i've just missed out on Michelle and Mandy completely. There are some moments here in Maui when I wish they could be here and share them with me. Like this rainbow I saw upcountry:

You're probably like, "That's not maui." But oh yes, it is. Many sides of maui are never seen. But back to my sisters. Mandy is getting accepted into colleges, buying prom dresses, prepping for graduation celebrations...and Michelle is totally thriving in san antonio with her peeps, trying new things, and getting ready to intern at Sagemont (keep the tradition alive, sister. branscome girls dominate). I'm contemplating coming home for camp this year, seeing as I will be living here in maui for another 2 and a half years. I would love to come to camp, for the sole purpose of seeing my sisters.

One random memory: i love snuggling with my sisters. they always complain about my prickly leg hairs. seriously--it's not my fault my leg hairs are thick and dark. But I miss annoying them with my leg hairs. oh, sisthers.

I'm going to finish this random post with a video of my dear friend Josh cliff jumping at a height greater than 75 feet. John is the one filming. I wasn't there. I preferred to chill on the sea-level beach while they decided to cheat death. I think this video is funny because of how Josh screams....enjoy!

Ula writes me a song on his ukelele

Keola reminds me of my sister Michelle.

Anyways, I call Keola "Ula", like Ula from 50 First Dates (such a Hawaiian movie, and one of my favorites ever). He is a rugged Hawaiian. He likes to go diving and body boarding, and he loves to play the ukelele. He's really good at it and has a great voice, if i do say so myself. I am partial, because he's my little brother.

My favorite line is, "She drives a rugged van that looks like one homeless man".

So true. So talented. Enjoy.

Maui Sunsets...

Wow. I've been in Maui for 7 months. That's crazy. I remember this time last year, I had applied for the position at Hope Chapel. Everything else in my life was a MESS. But God totally had a plan. I remember interviewing with Brandon, and then getting a phone call from Sam asking me to choose between junior high and high school...and then, April 6th, I was offered the Junior High Intern position. Wow. A year ago! This post isn't meant to be super reflective...more just like a little update and some fun pictures. God has blessed me so much in one year. From not knowing what i was doing to being here, knowing that God has it all under control.

I like the pirate life.

God is good. All the time.